My partner is unsure about home birth

One of the main concerns your partner may have is whether home birth is safe. It really helps to read about home birth and fully understand what it involves. You can find lots of useful information in this section as well as in Further information below. 

It’s also useful to talk to other couples about their experience of home birth and ask them questions about how it felt, whether they were happy with their decision and what advice they might have for you both. You could also contact your local NCT home birth support group by calling 0300 330 0700.

In addition, your midwife could help reassure your partner about home birth and prepare them for what it involves. It does help if your partner is able to meet your midwife early on in your antenatal care to develop a relationship and ask questions from the start.

Reach a decision together

Where and how you give birth are important decisions for you and your partner to make together – especially if they are going to be your birth partner. Try to understand each other’s point of view and reach an agreement before you start to involve family or friends who may have their own opinions of home birth.

Sometimes partners may not feel as involved in the whole birth planning process so try discussing different scenarios together and talking through your options. For instance, how would you both feel if you had a hospital birth? How would you feel if you had a home birth? What information do you need to make an informed decision?

If you involve your partner from the start in making a decision and gathering information, it will help you make a joint decision and also feel confident and happy about that choice. Perhaps keep a notebook to jot down your thoughts and research to refer back to together.

Practical role at home

Most men who have been birth partners at home and in hospital say that they preferred the home birth, even if they had doubts initially. One of the reasons for this is that you may rely on your partner to provide more practical support than you might in hospital. For instance, your partner, and not the midwife, will know where you keep the towels and baby clothes.

Feeling useful and being comfortable with your surroundings can play a huge part in a positive experience of labour and birth.

Further information

The results of the Birthplace study were released in December 2011 and provide useful information for parents about their choice of place of birth.

NCT's helpline offers practical and emotional support in all areas of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood: 0300 330 0700. We also offer antenatal courses which are a great way to find out more about birth, labour and life with a new baby. Other NCT resources include:

• ‘Homebirth All you need to know’ leaflet available from NCT shop.
• ‘Mums the Word’ DVD available from NCT shop.
• 'Daddy Cool' DVD available from NCT shop.
• NCT's shared experiences register, which enables mothers to talk to other women who have had similar experiences. Call 0300 330 0770 or email enquiries@nct.org.uk.
• Local NCT homebirth support groups. Call 0300 330 0770 or email enquiries@nct.org.uk.

If you would like to read more about the evidence on the safety and other advantages and disadvantages of home birth, the following are good resources:

The Home Birth Reference Site provides information and opinions about home birth, for parents who think that it might be the right choice for them, and for health professionals looking for resources. 

BirthChoiceUK provides information on choosing maternity care to help parents make the right choice for them.